Blessed.

As a child, I always yearned to have BFF's and never quite had them. Every few years I would move to schools in totally different cities, which then forced me to try andmake new friends, which I hated with evey fiber of my being. Especially, becasue it would take almost a whole year and a 2 summers to bond with people to trust people, to open my self up and tell them my deepest,d arkets secrets. I guess I've always been a private person, since I really never had ayone to talk to. I grew up an only child until I was 8, and then my brothers and sister came from Guatemala and I thought life would be amazing!!! Now having siblings...yeah right!...they were sooo mean. Each day that passed I thought they hated me even more. I had no idea why at that time, but now I understand...they were jealous...maybe? because I had the "priviledge" to grow up my mom when in reality, they had no idea what I had been through all those lonely years. My mom always working, always driking with friends, leaving me in daycare til' they closed...it was horrible (ohhh damm there go the tears). All those years...I just wanted a friend. A sister. ANYTHING...it was so hard for me...and I think that's why now I'm a total hard ass and it's so hard for me to let my guard down with anyone. And now as an adult, I've tried to mature and grow stronger from those experiences, and tried to break every cycle possible. And I know most of you are suprised to read all this...and I have no idea where it's all coming from...but I guess this is what happens when you blog. hahaha. I'm growing up and discovering the adulthood side of life.

And now, I can honestly say that I have been blessed with wonderful friends. Friends who are so understanding, loving and caring! I'm not one to have hundreds and dozens of friends...you can I'm very selective and particular in choosing who to consider a true friend. When I first meet a person I usually don't like them right off the bat...who knows why?... but I don't but then something or a certain scenario brings light to my eyes and let's me see how wonderful some people truly are! These people being my special 3 Musketeers from work! They have grown to be more than just simple, plain ol' co-workers...I consider than friends to infinity and beyond! They put up with my rudeness, with my brutal sarcasm, my bitchiness and from time to time even my booty slappin'. Haha. And at the end of the day they still love me....yes..LOVE ME! little insignificant me, who cannot express enough how much I care about these girls. They empower me, they enhance my vocabulary everyday ( I love my big words of the DAY), and they make me want to be a better person. (BTW I'm totally tearing up as I'm writting this...and the boss totally walked in the middle sof me crying hahaha) Anyways, let us continue with the sensimental crap...lol!

In a very short time, we have gone through a lot of junk with these girls. I haven't been part of the many adventures since my mami-hood does not allow at times,but I enjoy every bit of the details they share with me. It's as if I'm part of the adventure while they are telling it to me. It's hilarious. We have intoxicated up the ying yang, cried together, laughed so hard we've nearly peed in our pants.

I wish every person out there in the world has at least has a Brandi, a Marki and a fabulous and fierce Geinel with a set of eyes exactly like hers...they may give you access to VIP sections of random places. A brandi is very much necessary also because she's a support system, she's a roll dogg, and freakin' hilarious. A marki is even more important becasue she's the life of thr party!!! She is great meeting, talking ot random folks and the perfect Disneyland partner. oh yeah and she has an amazing family and a daddy to makes killer WANGS...so you know she doens't have daddy "tissues" like yours truly.haha.
Ohhhh Daddy "tissues" are for another blog...'cause if I start now I'll never end. So for now to be continued...
So on this beautiful Tuesday morning I say to you my small, yet faithful public/fans...I love you dearly. I thank you putting up with me and always being there to listen to my tangents, day to day mami drama or even wifey drama and never being judgemental but instead being helpful and supportive. I'll always be ther for you guys NO MATTER what!!!! I'm SERIOUS! I might not be there for every party adventure...maybe until the girls are like 5 and totally independent...ok? ok!....but I'll definitely be ther when shit hits the fan (which hopefully is never). I appreciate evey bit of you and love each one you very mucho, although sometimes you all get on my nerves from time to time....but I get over it. haha.

I love you bithces!!!! ARIZONA will be lucky to have you there!

LET THE PARTY BEGIN...

<3 Nat

Fears.

Definitely feeling overwhelmed today. Took my hubby to the doctor yesterday and the Doc scarred the Hell out of me! He's ordered an MRI on my husband, since he's been dealing with vertigo for the past 3 weeks and he seems to not be getting better, which by the way I've been making jokes about the whole entire time. But I think that's how I deal with stressful situation..just joke about it... that way it doesn't become a reality. Anyways...the Dr. said it might be something related to his Central Nervous System, which might be somehow agitated by a small tumor or swelling from a ventricle in there somewhere. As he was saying all this I was trying my very best to looked composed and calm, but inside my heart was pounding and I immediately starting talking to God and asking him to help my Husband get better. Yes, he's a pain in my ass. Yes, he can be a jerk and a bit neurotic at times, but I love him dearly and wholeheartedly. He's the one who takes care of us, who motivates us to be better and to never give up! and now to see him be so...so vulnerable and "broken" is so unlike him . Now after soaking up all the information the Dr. gave us yesterday and thinking about it all night...I'm scarred. I'm scarred of losing my husband. I'm scarred of what will happen to us if he doesn't get back to work. Will we loose our house??? Will we make it out of this rut??? I know God doesn't throw anything our way or into our life without a reason and I sure hope that reason gets revealed soon, so we can get some sort of peace of mind. All I know is that we will pull through this and I have to grow much more patience. I need not to complain or be negative, but look up above and be thankful for everything we do have. We have our wonderful, healthy, beautiful kids who make up with a smile everyday They are the ones we bust out butt for everyday. And we have each other to lean on. Right now he's leaning on me,a dn although it's an unfamiliar feeling or experience, I will hold my husband up high and reassure him we will make it through anything as long we believe it.

'til next time...

<3 Nat

And so it begins...

so after much hesitation I decided to startmy very own blog. I figures this would be an excellent way to get FREE...yes I repeat free therapy! I think a lot of us have soooo many issues that we cannot express out loud..so why not prevent I'm writting a love letter to whomever wishes to read it...which obviously is YOU!

Let me start by giving you a little but of background on me so you can understand how complicated my family is. I started dating my now husband back in December of 2004, he had 2 older kids from his previous marriage, Michael and Michelle. And I had one daughter, Audrey, from MY previous marriage to my High school sweetheart (who will always hold a special place in my heart). So in November 2005 he popped the question! and of course I said yes...but maybe I should've said "WooW WooW slow down homie!"...and after 3 months of no wedding planning whatsoever we decided to kick the gear on high and started planning a winter/springy wedding for the following Year. While planning the wedding my ass got knocked up!!! (what a mensa!) and still kep my origianl wedding date on 2/17/07, which now in retrsopect should've moved it up to freaking 6/17/07 or something....since the baby would be techinically 3 months old at the wedding...talk about a GHETTO wedding. Hahaha. The wedding came and went...it really wasn't everythign I had hoped for...since I had to nurse my child while wearing a big ass wedding dress...hahaha...and I didn't get wasted like I planned and somehow I managed to get into a tiff with one of bridesmaids and she up and left me there not even half way through!!!! (who does that???) I should've listen to Ron and gotten married in Hawaii with me, myself, him and our kids and eliminated the whole stressful experience.
And now we are a family of seven since we've added Danielle to the picture, who is a little angel. So to sum it all up we have Ron, Me, Michael, Michelle, Audrey, Adriana, and Danielle....yup all those mentioned are my kids incuding my husband. It's quite a journey and I never thought my life would be this complicated...but se la vi. The older kids arent' an issue but those little toddlers that drive me mad almost everyday but I lvoe every minute of my day. If you know me in person you know I have soooo many stories to tell about my kiddies and for the most part I saw them with a smile or a laugh that brings tears to my eyes..but tears of joy because I only cry when I'm happy or mad and sometimes when I'm sad, which is hardly anything these days.

Anywho...I think I've overwhelmed most of your bloggers with information that might not pertain to your everyday lives, but i just choose to express my everyday crazy thoughts that mami-hoods brings to mu life!

Hasta la Vista Baby!
<3
Nat