Fears.

Definitely feeling overwhelmed today. Took my hubby to the doctor yesterday and the Doc scarred the Hell out of me! He's ordered an MRI on my husband, since he's been dealing with vertigo for the past 3 weeks and he seems to not be getting better, which by the way I've been making jokes about the whole entire time. But I think that's how I deal with stressful situation..just joke about it... that way it doesn't become a reality. Anyways...the Dr. said it might be something related to his Central Nervous System, which might be somehow agitated by a small tumor or swelling from a ventricle in there somewhere. As he was saying all this I was trying my very best to looked composed and calm, but inside my heart was pounding and I immediately starting talking to God and asking him to help my Husband get better. Yes, he's a pain in my ass. Yes, he can be a jerk and a bit neurotic at times, but I love him dearly and wholeheartedly. He's the one who takes care of us, who motivates us to be better and to never give up! and now to see him be so...so vulnerable and "broken" is so unlike him . Now after soaking up all the information the Dr. gave us yesterday and thinking about it all night...I'm scarred. I'm scarred of losing my husband. I'm scarred of what will happen to us if he doesn't get back to work. Will we loose our house??? Will we make it out of this rut??? I know God doesn't throw anything our way or into our life without a reason and I sure hope that reason gets revealed soon, so we can get some sort of peace of mind. All I know is that we will pull through this and I have to grow much more patience. I need not to complain or be negative, but look up above and be thankful for everything we do have. We have our wonderful, healthy, beautiful kids who make up with a smile everyday They are the ones we bust out butt for everyday. And we have each other to lean on. Right now he's leaning on me,a dn although it's an unfamiliar feeling or experience, I will hold my husband up high and reassure him we will make it through anything as long we believe it.

'til next time...

<3 Nat